Your friend is very lucky to have you, I can tell you that much!

It’s pretty common that as girlfriends get older, and guys become more and more appealing, even the most loyal friends start putting their latest crushes over their BFFs. Girls who hold their friendships loosely (in a healthy way) instead of getting jealous, save themselves a lot of heartbreak when this occurs. Instead of seeing your friend’s yo-yo act as her “using” you, show her grace as best you can. Chances are, when your prince charming comes and sweeps you off your feet, you’ll want to hang out with your girlfriends less too! (Note: I’m not giving anyone a green light to ditch their friends whenever a guy comes around! I’m just telling it how it is, not as it should be.)

That said, I don’t think it’s fair that your empathy for your friend is one-sided. If you’ve explained to her that you feel you always listen to her problems with understanding and sympathy but that she doesn’t return the favor, and she doesn’t even try to change, something must be done. Reacting to her problems the same way she reacts to yours isn’t the solution, though. The way I see it, you have two options. If her friendship is valuable to you even if she doesn’t listen to your problems, then you should find another outlet for your feelings--prayer, a journal, a good run, etc. Option two: If it’s really important to you that you have a friend who will listen when you spill your guts, you may need to find another friend. No, you don’t have to ditch this one altogether, but it would mean you probably won’t be as close. Tough decision, I know!

No matter what, keep working on becoming the best friend you can be, and you’ll never be short on friends. (That sounds like an email forward or something. Yikes!)

Love,