My boyfriend and I broke up after a little over a year because he was going to college and we didn’t want to have a long distance relationship. Plus, I needed to make sure I was on track with God. The problem is that now he is at college with my old best friend, who liked him while we were dating, and now they are together! I gave it up to God, and I emailed him to get closure, but for some reason it still hurts. It makes me sick to my stomach. I just feel so replaced. What do I do?

Heartache is (unfortunately) part of the ups and downs of dating. If you have truly given your disappointment, pain, jealousy, and hopes for the future to God, you have done the best thing possible. Now all that’s left is to let time do its thing.

Time is to broken hearts like the sun is to denim. (Okay, that totally sounds like an SAT question. Let me explain!) When I studied abroad in Israel, we didn’t have a dryer for our clothes. There was a washer, but then we had to cart our soggy duds outside and hang them to dry. Yes, with clothespins. Apart from being totally stiff once they dried, my jeans made a remarkable transformation. I didn’t notice it the first time I line-dried them...or the second...or the third. But after a month or two, I noticed that my jeans weren’t dark denim anymore; they were totally faded from the sun. (I know—and people pay good money for that!) Who knew that the sun bleaches dark fabrics? Anyway, here’s the point to this random illustration: Just like the sun lifted the dark dyes out of my jeans over time, the longer you hang your heart in the light of the Son, those dark spots left by this breakup will gradually fade. They may never completely disappear, and the bleaching process may take much longer than you’d like, but don’t be discouraged when it feels like you’ll never be yourself again. You will. God hasn't let you down yet, and He won’t start now.

“The LORD hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time” (Psalm 34:17–19, New Living Translation).

Yes, it’s probably easier for your boyfriend to let go of what you had because he’s far away and enjoying the newness of college and a new relationship. But, whatever you do, don’t let his happiness be the cause of your unhappiness. Enjoy the benefits of being single and the excitement of a clean slate. Don’t give up on life! You have a ton to be thankful for, sis, and the world at your fingertips, so let God's comfort lift your spirit.

Love,
Jessie