I can see you already know the truth, sis. You just need some encouragement to keep up the fight to stay pure! Well, you've come to the right place. No matter how many girls (or guys) tell you that having sex (or any type of physical intimacy) is "no big deal," I can GUARANTEE they're wrong. I have a feeling that they know better deep down in their hearts, but maybe they act so indifferently because they don't want the conviction that comes with owning up to the truth. And if they really are so oblivious that they don't realize what an incredibly big deal it is, they will still suffer the emotional (and perhaps even physical) consequences later on.

Messing around before marriage is tempting because it does feel good physically­—I'm not going to lie. But that type intimacy is an imitation—a cheap imitation. Having sex before marriage is born out of selfish love (if there's love involved at all), because it’s looking for personal satisfaction rather than protecting the other person's heart. And selfish love never fulfills. There's no such thing as sex with no strings attached, with no emotional consequences. So when you give that much of yourself to someone who isn't going to spend their entire life loving you (in the bonds of marriage), you end up with a huge broken heart eventually. I don't care how hard someone tries to say otherwise, that's just the way it is.

BUT... Physical intimacy on all levels—especially sex—in marriage is AMAZING, sis. And if I can be blunt, I'm not just talking about the physical rush of it. Sex in marriage is God's best because you are able to give your entire heart, body and soul to your husband without fear of rejection, without guilt, and with the knowledge that God is pleased. There’s nothing in the world like being able to give yourself to another in the freedom of purity. Sex within marriage is God's best, not a cheap imitation, and it's totally worth the wait!

I can't tell you how much it bums me out that even your Christian friends don't get this. It's hard enough to stay strong and remember God's truth when you're surrounded by people who are also striving for the same thing; but how much harder when you feel like you're standing alone. Don't let Satan convince you, though, that you're fighting solo, sis. There are tons of godly girls and guys out there who are living life God's way, and saving their hearts and bodies for their future husbands and wives. And they (you included) are the lucky ones—the chosen few who will experience the joys of physical intimacy in marriage without the baggage of sex they had before they found their soul mate.

I respect your fears for the future, of being able to stay strong in college with the added independence you will have. I'd encourage you to get into a church college group or campus ministry like Campus Crusade right from the start. And in the meantime, pick up a couple books that will keep reminding you of God's truth: That your future husband is worth the wait. A couple of my favorites are "When God Writes Your Love Story" and "When Dreams Come True" (both by Eric and Leslie Ludy), and "Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot. There are a ton of others—if you need more ideas just let me know!

I hope this helps encourage you, sis. My heart totally goes out to you because I know it's so stinkin' hard sometimes to keep our eyes focused on the prize when temptation lurks around every corner. Hang in there, sis. I promise you that you will never be disappointed for not giving yourself away before marriage, only if you do.

Love,