Ask Jessie / When I was young (only five or six), I did something horrible. My parents had sent me to my room for something, and I don’t know why I was so angry, but I told God that He wasn't God, Satan was. Very soon after that I was really sorry and I begged God to forgive me and erase what I had said. I didn't mean what I said; I was just having a childish tantrum. But even now, I worry that I may not be forgiven, that I committed the unforgivable sin. It worries me so much I want to cry. I really hope God has forgiven me. I'm so scared that I might spend eternity in hell for what I did. Am I forgiven, or eternally damned?

With a phrase like "the unforgivable sin," I can see why you'd be worried, but hopefully I can put your mind at ease for good.

This "unforgivable sin" is referred to in Matthew 12:31, where Jesus said,

"I tell you that any sinful thing you do or say can be forgiven. Even if you speak against the Son of Man (Jesus Himself), you can be forgiven. But if you speak against the Holy Spirit, you can never be forgiven, either in this life or in the life to come."

All sorts of scholars have tried to figure out exactly what Jesus meant by what He said. Other Bible translations call that terrible sin "grieving the Holy Spirit." Honestly, after studying that passage, I'm not even 100 percent sure what He meant. BUT, I do know a few things that it is not, based on all the other Scriptures that talk about sin and forgiveness. And based on the context of Matthew 12:31 (i.e., who He was talking to), I think the emphasis for us should be placed on the first half of that verse:

"I tell you that any sinful thing you do or say can be forgiven. Even if you speak against the Son of Man (Jesus Himself), you can be forgiven."

I think that what you said to God in an angry moment all those years ago falls under this category, and has been forgiven by God if you have truly given your life to Him. The fact that what you said still tears you up inside is a good indication that you are truly repentant! And there are tons of verses that tell us that when we repent from our sins, God wipes them out forever. Here are just a few to chew on:

Proverbs 16:6 “If we truly love God, our sins will be forgiven.”

Ezekiel 33:12 “...Remind them that when wicked people stop sinning, their past sins will be completely forgiven, and they won't be punished.”

Acts 10:43 “Every one of the prophets has said that all who have faith in Jesus will have their sins forgiven in his name.”

1 John 4:10 “Real love isn't our love for God, but his love for us. God sent his Son to be the sacrifice by which our sins are forgiven.”

Ephesians 1:7 “Christ sacrificed his life's blood to set us free, which means that our sins are now forgiven. Christ did this because God was so kind to us.”

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.”

I could go on and on with verses like these, but I think you get the point!

It's funny how those childhood experiences haunt us. One time when I was about the same age, I said something really mean to my mom, and it took 15 years and 500 apologies for me to finally forgive myself . (She didn't even remember the incident!) I think that may be the case with you, too, sis. I think God forgave you the moment you realized how stupid you were in saying those things, but now you have to accept His forgiveness for good and stop beating yourself up for what you did.

Here's some food for thought: Because God paid such a crazy high price to forgive every sin that we have committed (His only Son), I wonder if it insults Him when we doubt His forgiveness, or when we continually beat ourselves up over what He has graciously removed from us. (No, that's not meant to make you feel more guilty! Just to help you see that He really means business when He says you're forgiven.)

So although I can't tell you exactly what the "unforgivable sin" is, I can assure you that you are not eternally damned for your rash words all those years ago. If you have given your life to God and allowed Jesus Christ to forgive your sins, every one of them has been erased. Now you can walk in that freedom and forgive yourself!

Love,

Jessie

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