Ask Jessie / There is this guy that likes me, and I kind of like him back, but my mom doesn’t want me to date until I am in high school. My mom already made me tell him that I don’t like him, so he doesn’t go any further. What do I do?

If your mom has made the decision that you have to wait until high school to date, then the absolute best thing you can do is honor her decision. It’s really a win-win situation for you. See, by doing what she asks of you, you’re obeying God (who has told us to honor our moms and dads), which always results in blessing. Plus, you’re gaining your mom’s trust (which is HUGE) at a time when you want more and more freedom.

I know it’s tempting to follow your emotions and go behind your parents’ back, but—trust me—that will only end up hurting you and your relationship with your parents. If this guy is truly worth your heart, he won’t mind waiting another year or two to date you! What a great test of his true feelings!

You said that your mom “made you” tell him that you don’t like him. Did she give you a reason for that?

I would tell him the truth: that you are attracted to him and would be interested in a relationship, but that you have chosen to do the right thing by obeying your parents and waiting till high school to date. If he’s mature, he’ll understand that and respect you for your choice. If he’s not mature and teases you or pressures you to go behind your parents’ back, then he’s not worth your time anyway!

But if your mom has said not to tell him how you feel, then you first need to have a talk with her and explain how you feel. Let her know that you are going to honor her rule, but that you would like to be honest with him. Be as mature and patient as you can be when you talk to her. Show her that you are grown up enough to be respectful, even when you don’t agree with or like her rules. That will go a long way toward gaining her trust.

Love,

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