First of all, I've got to give you big props for "wanting to obey" your mom's guidelines for your relationship with your boyfriend. That's a smart move! And I'm right there with her... I'll tell ya why: You've already discovered how hard it is to stop a physical "encounter" once it starts, right? I mean, it sounds like you weren't planning on making out with your boyfriend. "It just sort of... happened" is what I hear a lot from girls. When you're in the moment, you've got hormones (and even sometimes pressure from your guy) playing against you. If you don't want to keep going there physically with him (and especially if you don't want to be another teen sex statistic), you've got to set some CLEAR and FIRM boundaries. Now I'm going to be 100 percent honest here—this is going to be harder for you guys because you've already messed around. But not impossible.

First, you've got to decide for yourself what your new boundaries will be. Are you going to stick to what your mom has told you are the ground rules (i.e., no kissing)? Are you going to take your chances and set your boundaries at kissing and no more? What about just a little bit of making out? Or you could always leave it up to the heat of the moment. (Which never ends well! lol) If you want my advice (which I'm assuming you do, since you asked me the question! Teehee), I'd stick to the first option, as hard as that might sound, and I'll tell ya why: The Bible promises that you'll please God and it will go well for you if you obey your parents, even if you don't think their rules are fair (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20). And having God's blessing on your life is way, way, WAY better and cool and satisfying than the temporary pleasure of making out. Plus, your mom's rule about no kissing will most definitely save you a whole heck of a lot of heartache! After many years of dating one guy after another, giving pieces of my heart and body to each boy along the way, I finally came to a place where I gave up kissing too (until I would find the man I was going to marry). And you know what? It was the best decision I made in the world of relationships! No more regrets, no more shame from physical sin, and when I did meet my prince charming, we didn't have all that physical stuff in the way of TRULY getting to know each other. Make sense?

So... here's the tricky part. Other than communicating to your bf that you don't want to have sex before marriage, it sounds like you haven't talked about this stuff with him. Now you've got to. Don't waste any time—do it the first chance you get! Here are some tips: Going into the conversation, you're going to have to know exactly what you plan to say, you're going to have to be brave enough to be VERY clear and firm, and then you're going to have to stick to your guns, girl! I know you can do it. And if he's a quality guy, he'll not only hear you out, but he'll support your decision to do what's right. If he can't handle the physical boundaries you set, then he ain't the one for you! You deserve a guy who will protect and cherish your heart, soul and body. Enough said.

As to your last question, you'll know you're "slowing down" when you don't cross the boundaries you set. If you find yourself in a cycle of going too far, resetting boundaries, breaking the boundaries again, trying to do better "next time," and on and on (trust me, I know that cycle too well!), this relationship might not be what's best for you. But I'll be praying that it doesn't come to that, and also that you'll find the perfect time and way to talk to your bf about all this stuff. Which reminds me, make sure you're spending lots of time praying and reading God's Word as you think through all this stuff, k? He wants to weigh in on your decisions and help you sort all this out.

Love,