Ask Jessie / I am a Christian and I hate myself for what I feel I’m becoming. I have a really close gal friend that I think I have started liking...like more than as a friend. I like her personality and am attracted to her. But I am so afraid of what to do. I know that homosexuality is a sin. Does this mean I do not belong to God? I don't know what to do with myself.

You're right—homosexuality is a sin, and there's a bunch of good reasons why God completely forbids it. He never gives us rules without a reason, sis, and although society will tell you that same-sex relationships are just "personal preference," they WON'T tell you about the emotional, spiritual and physical consequences of such a "choice." I emphasize "choice" because homosexuality is just that. No one is "born gay," as the media tries to tell us. In fact, homosexuality is just another one of the age-old sins mankind has dabbled in since the Fall.

One of Satan's primary aims right now is to make you feel so ashamed of your feelings that you won't talk to those who can help. If he can make you feel isolated and different than everyone else, he can attack at will. He's also going to try to get you to believe that the way you feel "isn't your fault," and that you were just "born that way." Let me emphasize this again: homosexuality is just one of a whole slew of sexual sins. Girls all around you are dealing with sexual temptation and sin, so don't feel that you're struggling alone, that your temptation is more shameful than theirs, or that you somehow don't belong to God because you are tempted.

Okay... so where do you go from here?

First, you've got to accept that the feelings you're feeling for your friend are inappropriate and must be changed. How? By changing the way you think. (The emotions you feel stem from the thoughts you think.) Remember Romans 12:2? "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

How are you going to change the way that you think in this area? That, my dear, is a process, but you can get started by 1) Doing some research, and 2) Getting some accountability. For the research side, I highly recommend the website http://ExodusYouth.net. Check out their resources section, especially the handouts and brochures (which are really cheap!). If money is an issue, I will mail them to you myself! Accountability is going to take some guts on your part. You don't have to tell your friends, or even your parents (if you don't feel comfortable), but please talk to your pastor, a Christian counselor, or a mentor who can walk with you through this process. I'm here for ya, too, but having someone you can meet with face-to-face is always best.

Sis, let me tell you again how PROUD I am of you for having the guts to own up to your temptation, and for emailing me with your question.

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Love,

Other questions in this category

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	How do you determine who is a great friend and who isn't? Also, how do you get past the "mask" people put up so you can talk to the "real them" inside?
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