Ask Jessie / My best friend and I have been best friends since 8th grade (we're now juniors in high school). Last year she had this boyfriend, and while they were going out she totally ignored me. She put him first in everything. It was like I was being replaced. After they broke up, they became friends and now they are talking about getting back together. I am just afraid I am going to get replaced again. What should I do? I want to talk to her, but I don't want us to get in a fight.

What a tough situation! I don't blame you for being scared of getting hurt again. I think you're right to want to talk to her, and I think you can do it without fighting if you approach the conversation with a level head and humble heart. Pray sincerely beforehand and ask God to give you just the right words. Don't accuse your friend or attack her; just explain what you told me. Tell her you care about her friendship a ton, and be honest about how she hurt you (even if it was unintentionally). Let her know that you really want your friendship to last beyond the fleeting romances you both will likely have in the coming years. You never know, she may react differently than you think.

And if (for some reason) she doesn't take it well, respond with grace. Your friendship may change, but maybe God will bring a new friend into your life to fill the void. Friendships change a lot in high school and beyond. It's best to hold onto even the longest-running friendships loosely, enjoying the good times while you have them, but being willing to let go and move on when the time comes.

Love,
Jessie

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