Ask Jessie / There's this guy at my school that I like and he likes me, but I feel like the only thing he likes me for is my body. Whenever I am around him he is very touchy and it just makes me uncomfortable. The other day he subtly mentioned that he wanted sex from me and I just don't know what to do. I want to pull away from him but I don't know how. It's hard because in some sick way I like the attention, but in my heart I know that it's not genuine affection and I need to walk away from it. Do you have any advice for me?

Thank you for being honest with me, and—especially—with yourself. If you "feel like the only thing he likes [you] for is your body," you know in your heart that "it's not genuine affection," and you know you need to walk away from it/him, you already understand what you need to do! The only advice I can give you is to DO IT, and FAST. There's no sense hanging around this guy just to feed a craving for affection; it's not going to do you any good. And the longer you wait to get out of the situation, the more you'll be tempted to linger.

On second thought, there is one other piece of advice I can give you: Spend whatever time, energy and means it takes to find out why you crave the attention (emotional and physical) from even the wrong kind of guy. If you don't get to the root of the problem, you'll keep finding yourself in similar (or worse) situations with similar (or worse) guys. Spend time talking to God about it, reading Scripture, and talking to a mentor or trusted friend. There are also a few books that might help, like "Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Girls Lose When They Give In" by Lisa Bevere.

Let me close with a phrase that has become dear to my heart: “Don't settle for less than you deserve just to get what you want.” In other words, don't settle for second-rate infatuation and physical affection just to satisfy your desire for attention. You deserve the best, sis, so wait on God.

Love,

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