I think you should be the one writing the advice! Your maturity is so refreshing, sis. It’s rare to talk to a girl who actually appreciates the (many!) benefits of being single and who wants others to enjoy the peace of contentment she has found.
Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot you can do to change your friend’s heart if she doesn’t want to change. That doesn’t mean you should just let her complain and go on and on about her obsession. As her friend, tell her in a loving way that her preoccupation with the opposite sex is frustrating you and makes you not want to hang out with her as much. Encourage her to focus on the right things—all the amazing blessings God has given her. Because the truth is, there may not be “a guy out there that God has just for her.” God may in fact want your friend to be single until she learns to be content with Him alone, or even for the rest of her life. That doesn’t mean that God is punishing her or being cruel. But we girls sometimes get an attitude of “I deserve a boyfriend, so of course God has one out there for me.” He never promises us that. He does promise to be with us, though, and to comfort us, no matter what life holds. Hebrews 13:5–6, 8, 14–15 (New Living Translation) says:
“...Be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?’ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to His name.”
Like you, in 1 Timothy 6, Paul warned his friend Timothy about the dangers of loving anything more than God. Though he was specifically talking about the desire to get rich, I think the same principle applies to obsession with romantic relationships. In light of that, here’s my paraphrase of 1Timothy 6:6–10 (NLT):
”True godliness with contentment is [better than any relationship]. After all, we brought no[one] with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take any[one] with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to [have a romantic relationship] fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of [the opposite sex more than God] is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving [human love], have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.”
I pray that your friend will be guided by your maturity (rather than the other way around) and encouraged by your example of patience and contentment, sis. But if she refuses to change, and you find yourself being influenced negatively by her obsession with boys and wanting a relationship, you may need to spend less time with her and more time with friends who will help you take advantage of this fun and exciting stage of your life!
Love,
Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot you can do to change your friend’s heart if she doesn’t want to change. That doesn’t mean you should just let her complain and go on and on about her obsession. As her friend, tell her in a loving way that her preoccupation with the opposite sex is frustrating you and makes you not want to hang out with her as much. Encourage her to focus on the right things—all the amazing blessings God has given her. Because the truth is, there may not be “a guy out there that God has just for her.” God may in fact want your friend to be single until she learns to be content with Him alone, or even for the rest of her life. That doesn’t mean that God is punishing her or being cruel. But we girls sometimes get an attitude of “I deserve a boyfriend, so of course God has one out there for me.” He never promises us that. He does promise to be with us, though, and to comfort us, no matter what life holds. Hebrews 13:5–6, 8, 14–15 (New Living Translation) says:
“...Be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?’ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to His name.”
Like you, in 1 Timothy 6, Paul warned his friend Timothy about the dangers of loving anything more than God. Though he was specifically talking about the desire to get rich, I think the same principle applies to obsession with romantic relationships. In light of that, here’s my paraphrase of 1Timothy 6:6–10 (NLT):
”True godliness with contentment is [better than any relationship]. After all, we brought no[one] with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take any[one] with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to [have a romantic relationship] fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of [the opposite sex more than God] is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving [human love], have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.”
I pray that your friend will be guided by your maturity (rather than the other way around) and encouraged by your example of patience and contentment, sis. But if she refuses to change, and you find yourself being influenced negatively by her obsession with boys and wanting a relationship, you may need to spend less time with her and more time with friends who will help you take advantage of this fun and exciting stage of your life!
Love,